Thursday, 17 September 2015

No shame!

I saw this video recently on youtube about fat shaming (we probably all have) and though I won't talk about that specific video, I still want to spend a few minutes on body shaming in general. 

I'm going to start this off by saying I'm against all body shaming and I don't think any person or a group of people has the right to shame someone else because of the way they look or how much they weigh. I think we can all agree that extremes as far as weight is concerned aren't particularly good for our health and that people who have problems with weight at both ends of the spectrum realise that. So shaming anyone won't do any good and will most likely have the opposite effect. By telling them that they are not good enough because they don't fit certain standards, they won't get motivated to change anything. In fact, it will do quite the opposite. By making them feel worthless, you have probably just worsened the situation. A lot of people's weight issues stem from emotional trauma, so you are basically just adding fuel to fire. 
Society puts great pressure on all of us to look our best, no matter the consequences. And because the media sets such unrealistic expectations of what our best should be, a lot of people feel shit about the way they look. That can lead to disordered eating, both under and overeating, and even eating disorders. In an attempt to fight these societal standards, a lot of people started creating body positive content. But some of it missed the mark. While trying to empower larger people, they shamed skinnier people for their body type. Creating this idea that they were only desirable if they had some "meat on their bones". Again, this idea is flawed. Instead of spreading the message that no one should be shamed based on the way their body looks, they're just reversing the roles. And if anyone should see something wrong with that, it should be the people that faced discrimination based on their weight themselves. I've heard people say things like: "You're too skinny, go eat a burger!", "You're so anorexic!" and "No one wants to play with bones!" to skinnier people and it's just as disgusting as someone telling an overweight person to stop stuffing their face with fast food. It is just as harmful and damaging to the person on the receiving end. I think most of us have experienced some form of body shaming, either from society, our "friends" or even our family. So why would we keep on supporting it, when we know how much it hurts? 

We should all stop buying into these shaming tactics that are making us buy products to "improve" ourselves. Because the only way to truly improve your lifestyle, is to start loving yourself the way you are. And when you love your body, you also have the motivation to take good care of it. And what feels better than a healthy mind in a healthy body? 

Okay now onto my outfit! I'm a bit obsessed with this jacket that I bought for running in the chilly autumn evenings. And I will probably just end up wearing everywhere else instead. And the pink clashes amazingly with my hair! 

I'm wearing: 

top - H&M
skirt - H&M 
jacket - SportsDirect 
shoes - Dr Martens
choker - H&M
lipstick - Illamasqua, shade Apocalypse

Thank you so much for reading and hopefully I'll be back next week! 
Until then, enjoy! 

XX, Ingrid

Friday, 11 September 2015


Becoming more comfortable in my body has been a really freeing experience. And with accepting my body as it is, I fell in love with the natural state of my breasts. I was never a big fan of bras, they were always so restrictive and I couldn't wait to take them off at the end of the day. So I started to ask myself, why do I wear them? And the answer was simple. Not because I liked it, not to have support, not to feel good about myself, but because it was expected of me to do so. 
But why? Some people explained to me that my breasts will get saggy, if I don't wear a bra. Which is probably true, but it has been proven that bras don't prevent that from happening either. But the industry still has us convinced that we should be ashamed of our anatomy and its natural state in order to sell products. It feeds off people's insecurities and with the media setting unrealistic expectations of how our bodies should look, it's no wonder we have them. But there has to be another reason why people are so bothered by seeing women free boobing. And it's their nipples. Ah yes, the horror. Our nipples and the movement Free the Nipple have been a major topic in the media in the past few years and are a part of our fight for equality of the sexes. 
But why are nipples such a big deal? Well apparently not all of them are. If you're a man, it is perfectly acceptable to walk around shirtless. No one would look at you twice for it. If a woman walked around topless though, everyone would accuse her of being a whore, she would be "asking for it", she would turn a lot of heads and in most parts of the world she would also get arrested for it. Women's nipples are constantly censored online, while guys are praised for posting their topless selfies. Women are also shamed or even punished for breastfeeding in public. But why? What separates the male and female nipple? The answer is nothing. Anatomy-wise all nipples are just nipples. But our society, still ruled by men, doesn't see it that way. Women have been hypersexualized for ages and the only time women's nipples are shown, is in porn. So most people think our nipples are inherently sexual, making them different from male nipples, that aren't viewed that way. They think that if women were allowed to walk around topless, men would get distracted and wouldn't be able to control their sexual desires. Which in itself is a bullshit argument. But if we look just a century back, men weren't allowed to be topless either. They had to cover their torso on the beach, or else they were fined. They got tired of that, so they rallied against it and now men have the the right to be topless. And after having that right for decades, no one seems to be disturbed by their nipples. So if it happened for men, why can't it be the same for women? Once the change is normalised, it won't be a sexual thing anymore. After the initial shock, people would get used to it and in a matter of years, it would be a perfectly normal occurrence. There is no reason to keep putting this off for a more appropriate time. That time is now. We have waited long enough and it's about time we reach equality. But we have to speak up and not let our voices be silenced. Because together we are strong and together we can change the world, one nipple at a time. 
Now to close this off, let me just say that I'm in no way stating that there is something wrong with wearing bras or wanting to have your breasts (and nipples) covered. But it's about the freedom of choice, the ability to make that decision for yourself and not have others making it for you. Do whatever works for you because it is your body and your life and you should be comfortable in whatever decision you make for yourself. 

Okay now onto the fashion part of this post! Here are the photos of one of my favourite outfits recently. I'm completely in love with these pants and I would just live in them if I could. I hope you like it!

I'm wearing: 

top - Topshop
pants - H&M
blazer - H&M
choker - Asos
sun necklace - H&M

Thank you so much for reading and hopefully I'll be back next week! 
Until then, enjoy! 

XX, Ingrid

Thursday, 3 September 2015

Who am I?

Hello my lovelies, it's been a long time since I last updated my blog. To be honest, I just needed some time to focus on myself and work a few things out. I realised that in order for anything to improve in my life, I needed to change my mentality and lifestyle. And that is exactly what I did. Following my last post, I started a journey towards self-discovery and self-acceptance. I wanted to feel comfortable being who I am, with all my flaws and imperfections. It's been an uphill battle, but I can sincerely say that I love who I've become. And every day I try to take another step in the right direction. 
So, I'm finally back! What now? I will try to post on a weekly basis, but I may miss a post or two here and there because I started my last year of high school and I will have a lot of work for school. 
My focus will still be on my style, but I will try to connect it with current social problems and other topics I want to discuss. If you don't agree with anything I say or if you have anything to add, feel free to comment and share your opinion down bellow. 

On my road of self-discovery something I often came across were labels. And it made me think. Are they good or are they bad? Do we need labels or are they just creating more borders between us? 
The way I see it, there are two different kinds of labels; the ones we choose ourselves and the ones given to us by others. In my opinion, you are the only person that should be able to label yourself. Whatever kind of labels others pin on you, have absolutely no value. No one knows you more than you do, so no one can decide who you are for you. You shouldn't let anyone push them upon you, especially when you're not certain you really identify with them. Now there is no need to label yourself at all and if you don't want to, that is perfectly fine. But when someone says that all labels are nonsense and that we should just stop using them altogether, I couldn't disagree more. Yes, we are all people. And I get that when someone says that, they mean well and they mean that they only judge people based on their personalities, their moral compass and so on... But what they fail to realise is, that those labels can be a big part of someone's personality. Growing up different than most people around you is something that has a big part in shaping who you are. It can take a long time to become comfortable with certain parts of yourself and those words can help you get some clarity, especially once you aren't afraid of them anymore. They can help you to better present yourself to the people around you. And while being gay or trans or black aren't the most important things to know about someone, being a part of an oppressed group or a minority can have a huge effect on your views and morals. They can also empower you and connect you to others like you, which can be incredibly helpful. And while people say that these labels divide us, I don't see it that way. They can actually help people get together and fight for a common cause. And while in an ideal world we wouldn't need to do that, the reality is much different. Of course it would be great to live in a world where it wouldn't matter what race, gender, sexuality,... you are. But we aren't there yet. And if someone chooses to tell you that they label themselves as this or that, you should accept it and not question why it is necessary. Because that person knows why and their experience is valid and it's important. And if someone chooses to not use any labels, you should also accept that and not try to do it for them. And I did say on many occasions that I don't like to label myself, but I've changed my opinion since than. Because I've found comfort and my reality in these words. I am proud to be a gay woman, I am also proud to be a vegan, a feminist, an atheist... These things are a big part of who I am. It's not all of me, but they matter. And they are just as valid as anything anyone else identifies as. 

So after turning 18 and changing a bunch of aspects of my life, I decided to also improve on my look. To me it is sort of like starting a new chapter in my life and what better way to do it, than to change my hairstyle completely. I cut it the shortest it's ever been and dyed it this gorgeous mermaid green. If any of you were wondering, I used Manic Panic in the shade Siren's song. Okay so enough about that, here are the photos of what I wore on my first day back in school. Enjoy!

I'm wearing: 

blouse - H&M 
skirt - Topshop
platforms - Buffalo 
parka - my mum's 
choker - H&M 

Thank you so much for reading and hopefully I'll be back next week! 
Until then, enjoy! 

XX, Ingrid

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